"The water you drink may be fatal...Details at 11!"

Well, you've got to start somewhere in the blogoshpere, so why not on the eve of "Sweeps Month".

As you may know, the "Nielsen ratings" of television shows are still, despite all possible attacks from the media buyers, sellers, and well, just about everyone except the Nielsen Research Company; the lifeblood of the television industry. Higher the ratings, the higher the rates the shows can charge advertisers, and the higher bonuses and spirits of the executives at the media companies and local television stations.
But rather than use my opening post to cast my own aspersions on the archaic, swift-as-a-glacier-when-it-comes-to-change, Nielsen Research company (maybe for another time); I'd prefer to focus on one of my long time amusements during sweeps month: local station promotions.

In your local market, wherever that is, you probably have at least 4 local stations, that are the affiliates of larger networks (ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, and sometimes, the CW). Here in San Diego they are:

KGTV (ABC)
KFMB (CBS)
KNSD (NBC)
XETV (FOX)
KSWB (CW)

The bread and butter of those local stations are the ad rates they can charge based on the Nielsen ratings. These ratings are historically gathered at key three months every year... November, February, and May. So naturally, these stations hope you watch lots of their programs during this time so they get the highest ratings. And within those stations' programs, the big money makers are the local news.

This is the stage for the absurdity of local news promotions. Pay close attention next month as the local stations in your market promote their morning, evening, and late news. Ridiculously, you'll discover the most critical local health stories are miraculously broken during sweeps month. Like:

"The water you drink may be fatal.....Details at 11"
"Is your neighborhood in store for a big mudslide? Find out at 11!"
"Which communities have the most serial killers? Wake up with News 8 at 5 to find out!"

Gee...ya think you might need to know the answers a tad sooner than the 11 o'clock news during November?

and don't forget sex. Critical to local "news" coverage...

"Strip clubs are sending out emails to your kids! What to find out how to stop it? Details at 11"
"These teachers are doubling as exotic dancers. See if your kid's teachers are part of the Readin, Ritin', Rithmatic, and Raunch! Details at 11"

Hilarious. Tune in and keep score next month. I'll post some real life ones as I come across in my travels. If you hear some doozies, please feel free to post here.

BillG (no, not *that* BillG.)